And somehow, the spouses of Twitter continue to find humor in the minutiae of married life ― and sum it up perfectly in no more than 280 characters.
Every other week, we round up the funniest marriage tweets of the previous 14 days. Read on for 32 new, relatable ones that will have you laughing in agreement.
I wanted to hire movers and my husband said no, but apparently I’m still being forced to help considering the dirty look I just got for sitting on the couch.— Tiffany (@tiffany_pulfrey) October 8, 2021
Wife: I keep having nightmares that I’m in squid game— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) October 10, 2021
Me: but you haven’t actually seen squid game…
Wife: yes I know but my brain is inventing the plot based off of memes I’ve seen and doing a very frightening job
son said he was bored so hubby made a game of vacuuming as much dog hair as he could with the cordless vac and he’s almost done the whole house…im married to a parenting wizard— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) October 16, 2021
Y'ALL a neighbor knocked when my husband was home and asked to borrow our toilet plunger. Not only did my husband lend it, but SHE BROUGHT IT BACK AFTER USE AND HE ACCEPTED IT!!!!!!!— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) October 12, 2021
I'm gonna throw the whole husband in the trash with the plunger 🤢
I asked my husband what’s better; Easter candy or Halloween candy and he said, ‘it’s the same shit, just different colored wrappers”, and now I need a divorce attorney.— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) October 15, 2021
Husband: you’re late— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) October 8, 2021
Me: would you believe me if I said it’s because I made a healthy breakfast and then went for a jog
Me: Fine, my pop-tart got stuck in the toaster